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09.23.01 * 05.07.01 * 02.25.01 * 12.23.00 * 11.29.00 * 10.30.00 * 10.20.00 * 10.05.00

December 10, 2001
San Francisco, CA

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Seeing that I am a half-breed I thought I could let everyone know that it's Hanukkah. In fact, my neuropsychologist reminded me that this holiday is a celebration of miracles. So it's good one for me.

Things in cancer land seem to be an uphill battle at best. We have some bad news while we wait for the good news. The bad news is that there is new growth that's affecting my ability to communicate. It's hard to find the right words and I'm having trouble with my memory. The only way to repair this at this point is with surgery. So the good news is that I may be eligible for a second surgery to remove some of the new growth and relieve the pressure on my brain. I'll find out if I'm eligible for surgery when I meet with my surgeon, Dr. Berger, in the next few days. All the details about what's been going on in the past week are on the updates page of my website. My sister, Mila, has been here helping me out this past week. She will post an update on the site after she and I meet with Dr. Berger.

I'm still going along with Plan A, which is to fight hard for my survival. That said, my neuropsychologist and I spoke this week about coming up with a Plan B in case Plan A doesn't work out. I have decided I want to die in California and I want to have my family and my friends with me. I don't know where I want my funeral to be, but it will be either in San Francisco or Chicago or both (why not?). Thinking about making a Plan B is incredibly unnerving. I feel like there has to be more to living this life. I also feel like this is something I have to do regardless of the steps I am taking to fight this disease.

I'm really grateful for having the opportunity to fly home for Thanksgiving. I saw a lot of friends and family, which was great. At Thanksgiving dinner with my family, we all stood up and said what we were thankful for. It was wonderful for me to be able to stand up and say that I was really grateful for being alive.

Thanks to everyone who came to the benefit! I had such a great time, especially doing my one-woman karaoke show. Thanks to Hecky Powell for donating the space and the great food; Elizabeth Tisdahl for donating the beverages; Kara for organizing the auction and raffle; Mike and Jody for getting the karaoke machine; Kathy Tisdahl for coordinating the food and drink; Trina Hamlin for coming from New York to perform; Mila for organizing the benefit and performing; and Joey Fortuna and Pat Hughes for collecting tickets and getting everyone up to do karaoke by setting a fine example.

Playing the drums has been really great. I love all of my band mates: Antoin, Dori and Stephanie. Dori and I even went to play golf the other day. My soccer team has been incredibly helpful. Much kudos to them for all they've done for me.

As for Claire and I, we are no longer together. She and I decided not to see each other after our last meeting. I hope for Claire to have a great future.

Lots of Love,


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